Another long day! But, I don't have work tomorrow, so I'm over it by now! I started off my morning with another slim fast shake! I don't really like them, but I chug them and tell myself it is for the best. After, I hit the road for my internship. I was halfway there when I realized I LEFT MY ALMONDS AT HOME!!!!! I wanted to kick myself... but then I considered a different angle... If I don't get a lunch break, I will not eat and thus be skinny. I quickly forgave myself for forgetting the almonds, and started praising myself. I am brilliant!
I ended up going to Jimmy Johns for lunch. This time, I had no calorie content to go off of so I ordered the turkey sandwich with NO MAYO. I had two packs of yellow mustard on the side so essentially it was a dry sandwich. It had turkey, lettuce, tomato and sprouts... note to self-- I HATE SPROUTS! Regardless, I ate them hoping it was healthy and low in calories. I tore off bread here and there and left feeling pretty hungry so I am going to go with the idea that it wasn't that many calories.
I just got home and ran for the fridge. RAN. These days I am either starving or hungry. Well okay, I was full after that mexican buffet last night, but other than that, hungry is a good thing.
I ate cherry tomatoes like a drunk girl with Taco Bell. My parents are cooking out some kind of meat so I figured I would wait and make that my main course. Also, I already decided in my drive home that I would be eating a 100 calorie ice cream sandwich for desert. The fact that I already decided means it is for SURE happening, so there is something to look forward to!
I am going to lunch with my aunt tomorrow at a mexican restaurant. I am stressing out. I already attempted to look up the calorie content of the menu on line...no freakin' luck! I can't say I am surprised. Regardless, the thought of mexican and dry salad is making me cringe. THINK SKINNY, EMILY! I will just repeat that all day. Maybe I should eat before I go so I am just hungry, not starving at lunch? Almonds? I'll let you know!
Also, I am heading to Norman to visit some friends after lunch. I am baking them some turtle bars (think chocolate, carmel and goodness). This is going to be the biggest challenge yet. Well other than being starving all the time and eating mexican for lunch. But really, how do you make something that great without eating half of the batter in the process? I am sure any NORMAL person would have no issue with this, then again, most normal people don't have food consume their life so much that they have to write an entire blog about it.
I feel like anorexic people always bake things and then let other people eat it in front of them to feel better about themselves. Seriously? How? I crumble for dip, give me batter and a spatula and you better believe I am NOT capable of washing it down the drain, there are starving people in China, right?
Ok. I am going to chug a glass of water. Maybe that will help suppress my hunger? Regardless of what is to come in this challenge I have chosen to face, I GET ICE CREAM TONIGHT!!!!! So, life is great!
Wednesday, May 26
Tuesday, May 25
Day 3
Well it has been a long day! No work out since I had my internship all day. I kick started my morning with a slim fast shake made by the wonderful Teresa/my momma. I got to work and was hungry within....oh....14 minutes. So I immediately resorted to by 100 calorie pack unsalted almonds. Wonderful! For lunch, I went with two other interns to Camille's Sidewalk Cafe. It was my turn to order and I was freaking out. I had no clue what would be healthy; wraps are so deceiving! But don't you freak out-- I remembered my brilliant Ap with nutrition facts and found a salad that was ONLY 221 calories! Seriously! I only dipped a small amount of dressing on the tip of my fork for each bite. I left lunch feeling....you would think good, right? NO....STARVING!
All I wanted was to eat my back up almond pack that I put in my purse before work. But everyone would think-- she just ate and she's snacking?! So I stuck it out...like a champion.
Then I got back to work and still couldn't eat because everyone knew I just got back from lunch! Bad? It's about to get worst...
It was a girls birthday, so there was homemade strawberry cake and brownies. Usually sweets are my weakness, but at that point in my life, it was past that. I mean for the love of god, I was STARVING. Lettuce and fake grilled chicken for lunch; what was I thinking? So i agreed to a "sliver" (yes, I said sliver) of the strawberry cake. I inhaled it. At that point all bets were off and I ripped open my Almonds.
Still thought, it was a tiny piece. I was still feeling fine about myself.
So I come home to find my mom wanting to meet my dad at the Country Club. I don't know if you are a member at one, but REALLY, I have never been able to turn down the temptation of its salad bar. I know what you're thinking, salad bar? Yes. So unhealthy. Chicken salad, thick soups, fattening dressings... as if that weren't enough? Mexican Buffett! So I won't beat around the bush- here is what I ate. A CUP of bean soup (Hailey, I know your mouth is watering right now), pickled okra and artichoke hearts, shrimp and fish (pretty soaked in butter :/), chicken (covered in this corn cream stuff, but I got off as much as I could!), and veggies; probably saturated in butter also :/
So thats it. I don't feel that great about my day... but my teeth are looking pretty white after just two days (and hurting too!), tomorrow I will do better!
And in my defense- I didn't eat the tamales or enchiladas! I probably avoided like a few thousand calories!
Side note: I decided I want to learn French. I found a GREAT podcast called like Coffee Break French or something and I repeat it all the time....Teresa is about to kill me.
So on that note... au revoir
All I wanted was to eat my back up almond pack that I put in my purse before work. But everyone would think-- she just ate and she's snacking?! So I stuck it out...like a champion.
Then I got back to work and still couldn't eat because everyone knew I just got back from lunch! Bad? It's about to get worst...
It was a girls birthday, so there was homemade strawberry cake and brownies. Usually sweets are my weakness, but at that point in my life, it was past that. I mean for the love of god, I was STARVING. Lettuce and fake grilled chicken for lunch; what was I thinking? So i agreed to a "sliver" (yes, I said sliver) of the strawberry cake. I inhaled it. At that point all bets were off and I ripped open my Almonds.
Still thought, it was a tiny piece. I was still feeling fine about myself.
So I come home to find my mom wanting to meet my dad at the Country Club. I don't know if you are a member at one, but REALLY, I have never been able to turn down the temptation of its salad bar. I know what you're thinking, salad bar? Yes. So unhealthy. Chicken salad, thick soups, fattening dressings... as if that weren't enough? Mexican Buffett! So I won't beat around the bush- here is what I ate. A CUP of bean soup (Hailey, I know your mouth is watering right now), pickled okra and artichoke hearts, shrimp and fish (pretty soaked in butter :/), chicken (covered in this corn cream stuff, but I got off as much as I could!), and veggies; probably saturated in butter also :/
So thats it. I don't feel that great about my day... but my teeth are looking pretty white after just two days (and hurting too!), tomorrow I will do better!
And in my defense- I didn't eat the tamales or enchiladas! I probably avoided like a few thousand calories!
Side note: I decided I want to learn French. I found a GREAT podcast called like Coffee Break French or something and I repeat it all the time....Teresa is about to kill me.
So on that note... au revoir
Monday, May 24
Day 2
Was there success in avoiding the dip? Yes. Was it torture? YES.
But all in all I came away feeling pretty good about myself! I came home and whitened my teeth; the first round out of 7 days! Teeth whitening grosses me out, but I am sure it will be worth it in the end!
I woke up today feeling no skinner than yesterday. I guess that is normal? But when I skip the dip...I at least tell myself it will be noticeable in the morning....
Regardless, I had a banana and went to the gym. I was still annoyed that I didn't feel skinny so I only did 30 minutes on the elliptical.
After, I decided I was bored enough to go roam around Target so I did. I bought a bunch of 100 calorie pack type food and then realized I was starving...so I started eating lots of 100 calorie foods...all along knowing that 10 packs of 100 calorie snacks still equals fat as...well ya know!
So I finally escaped the food and have spend the rest of the day sitting in bed on the computer. So productive.
I cannot help but wonder how anorexic people do it. Seriously? No food? The closest I ever get to convincing myself I am never going to eat again is ROLLING out of a million calorie mexican dinner, but the next morning all thoughts of starving myself are out the window.
Food for thought:
Nothing tastes as good as Skinny feels... I would beg to differ, but sitting in my plus size shorts, all I have to go by is the taste part. Hopefully that is not going to be for long!
Maybe tomorrow I will wake up skinny? Doubtful! At least I can bet on a whiter smile :)
For now, its dinner time!
But all in all I came away feeling pretty good about myself! I came home and whitened my teeth; the first round out of 7 days! Teeth whitening grosses me out, but I am sure it will be worth it in the end!
I woke up today feeling no skinner than yesterday. I guess that is normal? But when I skip the dip...I at least tell myself it will be noticeable in the morning....
Regardless, I had a banana and went to the gym. I was still annoyed that I didn't feel skinny so I only did 30 minutes on the elliptical.
After, I decided I was bored enough to go roam around Target so I did. I bought a bunch of 100 calorie pack type food and then realized I was starving...so I started eating lots of 100 calorie foods...all along knowing that 10 packs of 100 calorie snacks still equals fat as...well ya know!
So I finally escaped the food and have spend the rest of the day sitting in bed on the computer. So productive.
I cannot help but wonder how anorexic people do it. Seriously? No food? The closest I ever get to convincing myself I am never going to eat again is ROLLING out of a million calorie mexican dinner, but the next morning all thoughts of starving myself are out the window.
Food for thought:
Nothing tastes as good as Skinny feels... I would beg to differ, but sitting in my plus size shorts, all I have to go by is the taste part. Hopefully that is not going to be for long!
Maybe tomorrow I will wake up skinny? Doubtful! At least I can bet on a whiter smile :)
For now, its dinner time!
Sunday, May 23
Day 1
I have come to the conclusion that the most practical way to tackle this challenge is to make short term goals everyday. Tonight we are going to eat dinner at my aunt and uncle's house. Other than the wine, margs, and unlimited portions of delicious food and desert, I see my biggest threat to be the dips before dinner is ready.
Why is it that anytime there is a dip bowl, I stand my ground and stuff my face? Calorie intake: probably around 12000! So for tonight, my goal will be to only drink water and to steer clear of the dip bowl.
I will compromise my main meal also, eating a small portion.
Other than my goal, I find that the best trick in dieting is finding foods I enjoy that are healthy. If I can get it through my head that I am not dieting, I have a better chance at making it in the long haul.
I worked out today. I am the laziest person I know, so to say I went to the gym and worked out is MAJOR. I did the elliptical and thank GOODNESS, "Knocked Up" was on, so it made me forget I was exercising.
Beyond working out, my food kick for now is Laughing Cow Cheese...IT IS SO GOOD! Only 35 calories a wedge! Is that real? Put it with some turkey and it is a pretty freaking good little snack!
Also, single packs of Tuna are wonderful! Put some mustard and laughing cow cheese with it, stir it up, and BAM! It's lunch time! I feel bad for people who don't like tuna and are trying to diet. 80 calories for a pack and its the best thing since....I'd venture to say the internet!
Well, that's all for now! Hopefully the aroma of spinach artichoke dip won't tempt me over to the dark side tonight!
I'll let you know tomorrow!
Why is it that anytime there is a dip bowl, I stand my ground and stuff my face? Calorie intake: probably around 12000! So for tonight, my goal will be to only drink water and to steer clear of the dip bowl.
I will compromise my main meal also, eating a small portion.
Other than my goal, I find that the best trick in dieting is finding foods I enjoy that are healthy. If I can get it through my head that I am not dieting, I have a better chance at making it in the long haul.
I worked out today. I am the laziest person I know, so to say I went to the gym and worked out is MAJOR. I did the elliptical and thank GOODNESS, "Knocked Up" was on, so it made me forget I was exercising.
Beyond working out, my food kick for now is Laughing Cow Cheese...IT IS SO GOOD! Only 35 calories a wedge! Is that real? Put it with some turkey and it is a pretty freaking good little snack!
Also, single packs of Tuna are wonderful! Put some mustard and laughing cow cheese with it, stir it up, and BAM! It's lunch time! I feel bad for people who don't like tuna and are trying to diet. 80 calories for a pack and its the best thing since....I'd venture to say the internet!
Well, that's all for now! Hopefully the aroma of spinach artichoke dip won't tempt me over to the dark side tonight!
I'll let you know tomorrow!
Saturday, May 22
I'll Start My Diet...Tomorrow
The story of my life. There is NEVER a good time to plunge into a healthy lifestyle. It takes a lot for me to jumpstart a health kick. It takes even more for me to stay on it. The second I start to compromise it is a lost cause.
It typically takes an upcoming event of some sort to motivate me to attempt and find my personal best reflection. I have a feeling that class reunions, weddings, and perhaps family vacations to the tropics will all motivate me in the future.
For now, I am going into my senior year of college at The University of Oklahoma, and have slipped for far too long. My last health kick came in the beginning of football season, it lasted until I found myself at the first tailgate, and then all bets were off!
How cliche college girl can I get? Here goes--I am motivated right now for my final sorority rush season. There, I said it. Being able to look decent when I am going out and sitting on a boat at the lake in a swim suite are just bonuses at this point.
I started telling myself that this summer was going to be the ultimate overall wellness...marathon, if you will... since February, and from that point allowed myself to eat (and drink) whatever I wanted. I have a long way to go.
Every health kick starts with a trip to Target. Buying healthy foods, maybe a few workout outfits, and in my case some teeth whitening all serve as my foundation. The satisfaction came when it came time to check out--as I ran my credit card, I convinced myself that dad would be happy to pay for this, after all, it is for my summer wellness.
I have decided to blog in hopes of keeping myself accountable and in order to have someone to vent to as I face frustrations. I will always be honest. If I fall off the bandwagon, I will tell you all about it!
Maybe no one will ever read this, maybe it will be motivation for someone else to jump on the healthy bandwagon, maybe I'll actually be happy with my reflection when this is all said and done? Only time will tell
With everything lined up for my ultimate summer of cleansing, I am as ready as ever to start my diet... tomorrow. But really, I'll start tomorrow.
Heres to You, Reflection... and good luck; you're gonna need it!
It typically takes an upcoming event of some sort to motivate me to attempt and find my personal best reflection. I have a feeling that class reunions, weddings, and perhaps family vacations to the tropics will all motivate me in the future.
For now, I am going into my senior year of college at The University of Oklahoma, and have slipped for far too long. My last health kick came in the beginning of football season, it lasted until I found myself at the first tailgate, and then all bets were off!
How cliche college girl can I get? Here goes--I am motivated right now for my final sorority rush season. There, I said it. Being able to look decent when I am going out and sitting on a boat at the lake in a swim suite are just bonuses at this point.
I started telling myself that this summer was going to be the ultimate overall wellness...marathon, if you will... since February, and from that point allowed myself to eat (and drink) whatever I wanted. I have a long way to go.
Every health kick starts with a trip to Target. Buying healthy foods, maybe a few workout outfits, and in my case some teeth whitening all serve as my foundation. The satisfaction came when it came time to check out--as I ran my credit card, I convinced myself that dad would be happy to pay for this, after all, it is for my summer wellness.
I have decided to blog in hopes of keeping myself accountable and in order to have someone to vent to as I face frustrations. I will always be honest. If I fall off the bandwagon, I will tell you all about it!
Maybe no one will ever read this, maybe it will be motivation for someone else to jump on the healthy bandwagon, maybe I'll actually be happy with my reflection when this is all said and done? Only time will tell
With everything lined up for my ultimate summer of cleansing, I am as ready as ever to start my diet... tomorrow. But really, I'll start tomorrow.
Heres to You, Reflection... and good luck; you're gonna need it!
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