So when I first decided to kick start my healthy summer, my goal was to achieve overall body wellness... easier said than done! There were a few things that I figured I would tackle; teeth whitening and perhaps wearing my retainer, working out and eating healthy which was planned to lead to being skinny, and getting a tan bod. I am now over a month in and still going strong on the path... but I'm still not seeing any results that make me jump with joy and explode with motivation.
Clearly, the off brand teeth whitening was a complete bust, I figured I would revisit the whitening path closer to school, that way they will be at their whitest when I need them to be! I should really start wearing my retainer... but it just hurts so bad!
As far as working out and eating healthy, I have done really well lately! Seriously! I just don't really see the difference. Then again, I just spent a while going through my pictures from the end of last year and I was truly repulsed. Maybe that should just keep me motivated?
I have been going to the pool in my one piece and working on getting some color. Last year I signed a year contract with "At The Beach" for unlimited spray tans. Little did I know, it took about one month for the entire concept to completely gross me out. Now I am paying $50 a month for something that literally is never used. Neat. I don't know what I was ever thinking though, seriously! Spray tans smell SICK, look sick, and the come off in awkward blotches... once again- sick! Every picture of me that I am spray tanned in I literally look like a monkey. SICK! So bottom line- I will be laying out a lot this summer. Today I did something that once again repulsed me. I went to the pool and laid out in a TWO PIECE. This was an extremely premature move and I looked like a beached whale. I hated every second of it. Note to self- being in a one piece is bold ENOUGH for summer 2010!
Okay so with all of that wellness underway... I have realized that I have been missing a key ingredient to looking my best... my hair! On the DAY of my 21st birthday...in January...I decided that I wanted a drastic change...why? I still will never grasp the answer... so I went and got a freaking dyke bob. Yes, that is what I have come to call it. My hair was cut off. For some reason I didn't make the connection that fat people are fatter with a dyke bob...well I didn't make the connection till my hair was on the floor of that horrible place and I was left with 21 pictures of dyke bob and spray on tan. I am cringing thinking about it. So even though it has been so long, it is still at a length that I consider a dyke bob. It was gotten so much better, but really, people still ask me if I just got my hair cut...it has been almost 6 months! NO! The dyke bob was a horrible horrible mistake. How do I grow out my hair at a faster rate? I think that is a lost cause. Maybe I will start using horse shampoo?
Also, I have a sick third eye right now which is never encouraging. NEVER. It stares at me every time I see a mirror. Dyke bob + third eye is almost as bad as dyke bob + spray tan....almost. Regardless, chipmunk cheeks and a triple chin make all of the above even worst.
Bottom line, I am still going strong, and still not seeing any instant results. I try to tell myself it is working, but sometimes I just don't believe the lies. I have 44 days till I move back to school... 44 days!
Work out, eat healthy, lay out, whiten teeth, wear retainer, invest in PROACTIVE, take great care of my hair....
Let the journey continue!
Thursday, June 17
Thursday, June 10
Long time, no blog!
Wow. Has it really been a week since I last blogged? You know I am lazy when I am not even keeping up with this little guy! I spent the past three days at the capitol... and lets just say... I didn't exactly eat healthy. BUT, I am back on board today! I just worked out and had some turkey and laughing cow cheese for lunch! Which brings me to two other points...one being that I am trying to make myself enjoy running! I use the elliptical at the gym, but when I go back to school I am NOT going to want to go to the Huff to work out...sick. I need to be one of those sorority girls who gets home and goes, "I HAVE to go on a run!" like I'm craving it or something. Then I need to just go outside and run around embracing the outdoors. For this reason, and to avoid the talking neighborhood ladies who were on the ellipticals, I got on the treadmill and ran some today.
My other point, I have a new favorite snack...turkey, laughing cow (duh) and green tabasco! It is TO DIE FOR. Seriously! Best invention ever...by me!
I did have one healthy dinner the other night. My brother and I decided that we were chefs and made some sort of cajun delight. I was craving crawfish for some strange reason, so I bought some at Target. We mixed tomato paste, wichester, Louisiana hot sauce, garlic, grilled onions, and some chicken broth together on a stove (really, it was amazing!) and the put in the crawfish. Meanwhile, I made some blackened tilapia and once it was all done, we poured the crawfish yumminess over the fish. Best.Ever. And healthy, seriously! Everything was so low in calories that it was a great choice!
Today I am going to the pool to get some sun. You know what they say, tan fat is better than pale fat...and isn't that the truth?
I was starting to actually feel skinnier, then I had the past few days of "vacation"...yeah I'll call it vacation. And now, I am sitting here feeling my bulging double chin and resting my computer on my oversized belly.
No more bad food, the summer is ticking away!
And I'd better keep up with this blog, maybe it actually does help?!
My other point, I have a new favorite snack...turkey, laughing cow (duh) and green tabasco! It is TO DIE FOR. Seriously! Best invention ever...by me!
I did have one healthy dinner the other night. My brother and I decided that we were chefs and made some sort of cajun delight. I was craving crawfish for some strange reason, so I bought some at Target. We mixed tomato paste, wichester, Louisiana hot sauce, garlic, grilled onions, and some chicken broth together on a stove (really, it was amazing!) and the put in the crawfish. Meanwhile, I made some blackened tilapia and once it was all done, we poured the crawfish yumminess over the fish. Best.Ever. And healthy, seriously! Everything was so low in calories that it was a great choice!
Today I am going to the pool to get some sun. You know what they say, tan fat is better than pale fat...and isn't that the truth?
I was starting to actually feel skinnier, then I had the past few days of "vacation"...yeah I'll call it vacation. And now, I am sitting here feeling my bulging double chin and resting my computer on my oversized belly.
No more bad food, the summer is ticking away!
And I'd better keep up with this blog, maybe it actually does help?!
Thursday, June 3
Forgetting to say "When"
She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say “when.”
Funny quote huh? I would assume this is more for the people who are yet to except that they are fat, so they still squeeze into the same clothes they were wearing 20 pounds ago. But then again, what am I saying? After all, having a muffin top every time I button my jeans can't be a good thing.
I decided to look for some inspiring quotes this morning. Mostly because I am putting off going to the gym, but telling myself it is more for motivation.
I've caught myself doing it again... "I can't work out today, I am too busy..." Really? because I am pretty sure you woke up over an hour ago and you are still in bed, in your pajamas, pointlessly roaming the internet.
Time to rally for the day. Hopefully there is SOMETHING good on TV; I should really work on finding some aerobic activity I can enjoy...is there such a thing?
I ate healthy yesterday....I am going to start taking pictures of things I eat if they look good, that way I can liven up the page.
My question of the day: should I even bother with weighing my self? I mean, I know when I start looking like a super model people will ask, "How much did you loose!?", but really, it kind of sucks. You feel great about yourself... well not great, I still look like I just stepped off the bus at fat camp...but I feel better...and then step on the scale and NOPE... apparently it does not feel any better at all.
Maybe I will steer clear of the scale for a few more weeks. Or just forever.
I want to shop today...but I think it may be too soon. Theres nothing that will make a fat girl feel fatter than a full size reflection of a dress that looks like she was poured into without saying "when"....
Funny quote huh? I would assume this is more for the people who are yet to except that they are fat, so they still squeeze into the same clothes they were wearing 20 pounds ago. But then again, what am I saying? After all, having a muffin top every time I button my jeans can't be a good thing.
I decided to look for some inspiring quotes this morning. Mostly because I am putting off going to the gym, but telling myself it is more for motivation.
I've caught myself doing it again... "I can't work out today, I am too busy..." Really? because I am pretty sure you woke up over an hour ago and you are still in bed, in your pajamas, pointlessly roaming the internet.
Time to rally for the day. Hopefully there is SOMETHING good on TV; I should really work on finding some aerobic activity I can enjoy...is there such a thing?
I ate healthy yesterday....I am going to start taking pictures of things I eat if they look good, that way I can liven up the page.
My question of the day: should I even bother with weighing my self? I mean, I know when I start looking like a super model people will ask, "How much did you loose!?", but really, it kind of sucks. You feel great about yourself... well not great, I still look like I just stepped off the bus at fat camp...but I feel better...and then step on the scale and NOPE... apparently it does not feel any better at all.
Maybe I will steer clear of the scale for a few more weeks. Or just forever.
I want to shop today...but I think it may be too soon. Theres nothing that will make a fat girl feel fatter than a full size reflection of a dress that looks like she was poured into without saying "when"....
Tuesday, June 1
Day 10...Double Digits!
So day 10 has come and gone! Blogging at the end of the day is ALWAYS a challenge. I have done well all day, and all I want to do is sneak down to the kitchen...like I have done many-a-night... and eat everything I see without waking anyone. Kinda like the fat kid version of "Don't Wake Daddy"...you remember that commercial for that game, right?
Regardless, when I face my weakness in the late hours of the night, I poor myself a huge glass (well technically plastic cup, I'll call it a plastic) of water and chug it. It never makes me any less hungry. You win some you loose some.
What a negative light to shine on my 10th day of being a self-conscience health nut? Regardless, I had a rather stunning day. I can name everything I ate. Brilliant.
Slimfast shake, 250 calorie sandwich from Subway, 100 calorie pack of almonds, 2 liters of WATER! (that should be some kind of bonus!), some tuna and pickles, laughing cow cheese, turkey slices, a few veggies, and a 100 calorie pack of cookies (the cherry on top? I'd say so!).
As I was healthily snacking when I got home from work...my brother awkwardly called me out for my new found health kick. "Are you DIETING or something?" He thinks diets are liberal for some reason... we are a rather conservative family, so the term "dieting" coming from him was spat out in a very negative way. Very. Good thing he doesn't know about my blog.
I don't remember what I said back. Funny encounter though.
Today is my wonderful friend Hailey's 22nd birthday. What does that have to do with my health blog? Everything! I will be undoubtedly sharing wine with her in celebration. This is too many calories to even look up. It will be one of those ignorance is bliss type of splurges. It is worth it for you, Hailey!
I just realized I did not share any stories from the lake. I will just paint a quick little mental picture for you. We get on the boat, everyone takes off their cover ups to get some sun. I am wearing one of those 2007 style Juicy Coverups, I got it on eBay in 2008 for pretty cheap. I roll it down to where it covers my stomach and hike up the skirt so my pork thighs can get some sun, and pretend like it is normal. I was like a random cat with all the dogs. Then, when it was too hot to resist a swim, I awkwardly shimmied out of my discount coverup, hid my body with the floating devise (it held me up once in the water, don't worry!) and DOVE in faster than, well, than I have moved in a long time. Not.A.Pretty.Sight. Regardless, I made it through. This is progress, considering the last 2 spring breaks I waded in the ocean in that Juicy coverup.
Picture "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini"... minus the "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie" part and instead of "Yellow Polka-Dot" picture... multi colored polka-dot; target 2007 line.
Which brings me to another rather important point. I have not bought a swim suite since 2007. That is the last year I could stand seeing the blob in dressing room lighting.
Maybe I should start inching to a new goal? Buy a swim suite this summer?
Or, better yet, how about I work out? It has been 10 days and I worked out...what...2?
I do believe that I am a sloth. Then again, sloths are small.
A wise mother of a friend once told her that judging by the size of her hands and feet, she should technically be a small person. Judging by mine, I should weigh 115 and head to the lake with NO cover up.
Next summer, I can feel it. Not as much as I can feel these rolls. Maybe tonight I will dream I am skinny? Theres only one way to find out...Good night bloggers!
Regardless, when I face my weakness in the late hours of the night, I poor myself a huge glass (well technically plastic cup, I'll call it a plastic) of water and chug it. It never makes me any less hungry. You win some you loose some.
What a negative light to shine on my 10th day of being a self-conscience health nut? Regardless, I had a rather stunning day. I can name everything I ate. Brilliant.
Slimfast shake, 250 calorie sandwich from Subway, 100 calorie pack of almonds, 2 liters of WATER! (that should be some kind of bonus!), some tuna and pickles, laughing cow cheese, turkey slices, a few veggies, and a 100 calorie pack of cookies (the cherry on top? I'd say so!).
As I was healthily snacking when I got home from work...my brother awkwardly called me out for my new found health kick. "Are you DIETING or something?" He thinks diets are liberal for some reason... we are a rather conservative family, so the term "dieting" coming from him was spat out in a very negative way. Very. Good thing he doesn't know about my blog.
I don't remember what I said back. Funny encounter though.
Today is my wonderful friend Hailey's 22nd birthday. What does that have to do with my health blog? Everything! I will be undoubtedly sharing wine with her in celebration. This is too many calories to even look up. It will be one of those ignorance is bliss type of splurges. It is worth it for you, Hailey!
I just realized I did not share any stories from the lake. I will just paint a quick little mental picture for you. We get on the boat, everyone takes off their cover ups to get some sun. I am wearing one of those 2007 style Juicy Coverups, I got it on eBay in 2008 for pretty cheap. I roll it down to where it covers my stomach and hike up the skirt so my pork thighs can get some sun, and pretend like it is normal. I was like a random cat with all the dogs. Then, when it was too hot to resist a swim, I awkwardly shimmied out of my discount coverup, hid my body with the floating devise (it held me up once in the water, don't worry!) and DOVE in faster than, well, than I have moved in a long time. Not.A.Pretty.Sight. Regardless, I made it through. This is progress, considering the last 2 spring breaks I waded in the ocean in that Juicy coverup.
Picture "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini"... minus the "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie" part and instead of "Yellow Polka-Dot" picture... multi colored polka-dot; target 2007 line.
Which brings me to another rather important point. I have not bought a swim suite since 2007. That is the last year I could stand seeing the blob in dressing room lighting.
Maybe I should start inching to a new goal? Buy a swim suite this summer?
Or, better yet, how about I work out? It has been 10 days and I worked out...what...2?
I do believe that I am a sloth. Then again, sloths are small.
A wise mother of a friend once told her that judging by the size of her hands and feet, she should technically be a small person. Judging by mine, I should weigh 115 and head to the lake with NO cover up.
Next summer, I can feel it. Not as much as I can feel these rolls. Maybe tonight I will dream I am skinny? Theres only one way to find out...Good night bloggers!
Monday, May 31
Days 7-9...oops!
So I slip up and have to do 2 days in one and then what? I go and have to cover 3! I am sorry. My lack of promptness is just inexcusable! Regardless, I have great news! I was good all weekend! Really though, fruit, turkey sandwiches (With no cheese, and 80 calorie wrap bread, may I add?) and almonds filled my tummy all weekend! We ate out Saturday night and I had grilled chicken with spinach and asparagus. Pretty delicious, and a healthy choice! (Going out in Dallas after, not so much a healthy choice, but I will just act as if it never happened!)
In addition to my lack of being reliable in blog wold over the weekend, I skipped a day of my teeth whitening. It is a 7 day thing that I use 30 minutes a day. I finally finished today and guess how bright my smile is? NO BRIGHTER THAN IT WAS 9 DAYS AGO. Really, Emily? Maybe next time I shouldn't be a cheap-wad and NOT buy the generic Target brand? More than likely, I will tell myself they worked next time I decide to whiten my teeth and go with the cheap brand again. What can ya do?
I just got home from my weekend in Dallas, did I mention thats where I went? I think I did. Anyways, I just got home and today we found out Kristy, my friend I went to Dallas with, has MONO. My friend who I rode in the car down with, shared snacks and drinks with, was with non stop for an entire weekend, yeah THAT friend.
I have had mono before, all I remember is having a horrible taste in my mouth for the entire time. As I sit here and reflect, I think I can taste it again...yes, it was over 7 years ago when I had it...but I am pretty sure it is the same. Or maybe I am coming down with a different disease... hypochondriacism?
Regardless, people who have mono always loose lots of weight, so I kind of think I am hoping to have it. This could be my big break! I am feeling really tired....and weak...and this taste in my mouth....time for bed!
In addition to my lack of being reliable in blog wold over the weekend, I skipped a day of my teeth whitening. It is a 7 day thing that I use 30 minutes a day. I finally finished today and guess how bright my smile is? NO BRIGHTER THAN IT WAS 9 DAYS AGO. Really, Emily? Maybe next time I shouldn't be a cheap-wad and NOT buy the generic Target brand? More than likely, I will tell myself they worked next time I decide to whiten my teeth and go with the cheap brand again. What can ya do?
I just got home from my weekend in Dallas, did I mention thats where I went? I think I did. Anyways, I just got home and today we found out Kristy, my friend I went to Dallas with, has MONO. My friend who I rode in the car down with, shared snacks and drinks with, was with non stop for an entire weekend, yeah THAT friend.
I have had mono before, all I remember is having a horrible taste in my mouth for the entire time. As I sit here and reflect, I think I can taste it again...yes, it was over 7 years ago when I had it...but I am pretty sure it is the same. Or maybe I am coming down with a different disease... hypochondriacism?
Regardless, people who have mono always loose lots of weight, so I kind of think I am hoping to have it. This could be my big break! I am feeling really tired....and weak...and this taste in my mouth....time for bed!
Friday, May 28
Day 5/6
I know, I know! I didn't blog yesterday...but don't worry; I did not fall off the bandwagon. I was not around a computer so I decided today I would cover the past two days.
Yesterday in a short recap:
the good-- turkey subway sandwich on wheat bread (no top piece) with mustard, chicken fajitas; but just the chicken breast!
the bad-- a blue moon beer, a few bites of chips and queso
the ugly-- I don't really have anything for this, maybe my outfit yesterday? I'll stick with that. Note to self: wearing jeans that are 2 sizes too big does NOT look attractive, nor does it make me look skinnier like I tell myself it does. Throw AWAY the Charlotte Ruse "Boyfriend Jeans". NOW!
In addition to my healthy choices yesterday, I moved out a friend ALLLLL DAY. Literally, heavy lifting. Beds, tables, lots of trips. I have probably never felt so sorry for myself in my entire life. I was sweating like a man. Ugh. Worst ever.
Issues that arose yesterday: Eating out with one person often makes it IMPOSSIBLE to pull off eating healthy. I went to eat lunch with my aunt. Mexican. Isn't it rude to NOT eat the chips and salsa before lunch comes out? Maybe it's not, but how can I resist when I have found a decent excuse for myself?
For today, it was more moving. I think I am the best friend in the world. Heres my brief recap:
the good-- turkey subway sandwich on wheat bread (no top piece) with mustard...I know what you're thinking...yes, I did have that for lunch yesterday. Blah. No one ever said eating healthy came with a vast amount of variety. V8 juice, 100 calorie almond pack, and a healthy salad
the bad-- grande soy vanilla latte from Starbucks; Woops!
the ugly-- I wore the "boyfriend" jeans again, this time with a LARGE t-shirt. Even MORE unattractive. Yikes!
Discovery of the day: On the road and only stopping at a gas station? Well I was pretty tempted with the cheesy popcorn today on my way to Dallas (I am in Dallas right now. Yup, true story.) I told myself that I would poor out half the bag because lets be honest, I am NOT capable of stopping myself! Instead, I grabbed a V8 and drank it. So proud of myself. So resourceful, and ONLY 70 calories! Niceeeeeee
As for my life right now, I am going to be out on the lake tomorrow, all day. Bud 55 anyone? I will let you know how it goes. Maybe I should have packed a few 100 calorie packs for the day.
Does eating healthy count on the water? Does it count on Holiday Weekends? Am I seriously trying to find an excuse to eat bad on a weekend that I will spend in a coverup on a boat? Pathetic.
Yesterday in a short recap:
the good-- turkey subway sandwich on wheat bread (no top piece) with mustard, chicken fajitas; but just the chicken breast!
the bad-- a blue moon beer, a few bites of chips and queso
the ugly-- I don't really have anything for this, maybe my outfit yesterday? I'll stick with that. Note to self: wearing jeans that are 2 sizes too big does NOT look attractive, nor does it make me look skinnier like I tell myself it does. Throw AWAY the Charlotte Ruse "Boyfriend Jeans". NOW!
In addition to my healthy choices yesterday, I moved out a friend ALLLLL DAY. Literally, heavy lifting. Beds, tables, lots of trips. I have probably never felt so sorry for myself in my entire life. I was sweating like a man. Ugh. Worst ever.
Issues that arose yesterday: Eating out with one person often makes it IMPOSSIBLE to pull off eating healthy. I went to eat lunch with my aunt. Mexican. Isn't it rude to NOT eat the chips and salsa before lunch comes out? Maybe it's not, but how can I resist when I have found a decent excuse for myself?
For today, it was more moving. I think I am the best friend in the world. Heres my brief recap:
the good-- turkey subway sandwich on wheat bread (no top piece) with mustard...I know what you're thinking...yes, I did have that for lunch yesterday. Blah. No one ever said eating healthy came with a vast amount of variety. V8 juice, 100 calorie almond pack, and a healthy salad
the bad-- grande soy vanilla latte from Starbucks; Woops!
the ugly-- I wore the "boyfriend" jeans again, this time with a LARGE t-shirt. Even MORE unattractive. Yikes!
Discovery of the day: On the road and only stopping at a gas station? Well I was pretty tempted with the cheesy popcorn today on my way to Dallas (I am in Dallas right now. Yup, true story.) I told myself that I would poor out half the bag because lets be honest, I am NOT capable of stopping myself! Instead, I grabbed a V8 and drank it. So proud of myself. So resourceful, and ONLY 70 calories! Niceeeeeee
As for my life right now, I am going to be out on the lake tomorrow, all day. Bud 55 anyone? I will let you know how it goes. Maybe I should have packed a few 100 calorie packs for the day.
Does eating healthy count on the water? Does it count on Holiday Weekends? Am I seriously trying to find an excuse to eat bad on a weekend that I will spend in a coverup on a boat? Pathetic.
Wednesday, May 26
Day 4
Another long day! But, I don't have work tomorrow, so I'm over it by now! I started off my morning with another slim fast shake! I don't really like them, but I chug them and tell myself it is for the best. After, I hit the road for my internship. I was halfway there when I realized I LEFT MY ALMONDS AT HOME!!!!! I wanted to kick myself... but then I considered a different angle... If I don't get a lunch break, I will not eat and thus be skinny. I quickly forgave myself for forgetting the almonds, and started praising myself. I am brilliant!
I ended up going to Jimmy Johns for lunch. This time, I had no calorie content to go off of so I ordered the turkey sandwich with NO MAYO. I had two packs of yellow mustard on the side so essentially it was a dry sandwich. It had turkey, lettuce, tomato and sprouts... note to self-- I HATE SPROUTS! Regardless, I ate them hoping it was healthy and low in calories. I tore off bread here and there and left feeling pretty hungry so I am going to go with the idea that it wasn't that many calories.
I just got home and ran for the fridge. RAN. These days I am either starving or hungry. Well okay, I was full after that mexican buffet last night, but other than that, hungry is a good thing.
I ate cherry tomatoes like a drunk girl with Taco Bell. My parents are cooking out some kind of meat so I figured I would wait and make that my main course. Also, I already decided in my drive home that I would be eating a 100 calorie ice cream sandwich for desert. The fact that I already decided means it is for SURE happening, so there is something to look forward to!
I am going to lunch with my aunt tomorrow at a mexican restaurant. I am stressing out. I already attempted to look up the calorie content of the menu on line...no freakin' luck! I can't say I am surprised. Regardless, the thought of mexican and dry salad is making me cringe. THINK SKINNY, EMILY! I will just repeat that all day. Maybe I should eat before I go so I am just hungry, not starving at lunch? Almonds? I'll let you know!
Also, I am heading to Norman to visit some friends after lunch. I am baking them some turtle bars (think chocolate, carmel and goodness). This is going to be the biggest challenge yet. Well other than being starving all the time and eating mexican for lunch. But really, how do you make something that great without eating half of the batter in the process? I am sure any NORMAL person would have no issue with this, then again, most normal people don't have food consume their life so much that they have to write an entire blog about it.
I feel like anorexic people always bake things and then let other people eat it in front of them to feel better about themselves. Seriously? How? I crumble for dip, give me batter and a spatula and you better believe I am NOT capable of washing it down the drain, there are starving people in China, right?
Ok. I am going to chug a glass of water. Maybe that will help suppress my hunger? Regardless of what is to come in this challenge I have chosen to face, I GET ICE CREAM TONIGHT!!!!! So, life is great!
I ended up going to Jimmy Johns for lunch. This time, I had no calorie content to go off of so I ordered the turkey sandwich with NO MAYO. I had two packs of yellow mustard on the side so essentially it was a dry sandwich. It had turkey, lettuce, tomato and sprouts... note to self-- I HATE SPROUTS! Regardless, I ate them hoping it was healthy and low in calories. I tore off bread here and there and left feeling pretty hungry so I am going to go with the idea that it wasn't that many calories.
I just got home and ran for the fridge. RAN. These days I am either starving or hungry. Well okay, I was full after that mexican buffet last night, but other than that, hungry is a good thing.
I ate cherry tomatoes like a drunk girl with Taco Bell. My parents are cooking out some kind of meat so I figured I would wait and make that my main course. Also, I already decided in my drive home that I would be eating a 100 calorie ice cream sandwich for desert. The fact that I already decided means it is for SURE happening, so there is something to look forward to!
I am going to lunch with my aunt tomorrow at a mexican restaurant. I am stressing out. I already attempted to look up the calorie content of the menu on line...no freakin' luck! I can't say I am surprised. Regardless, the thought of mexican and dry salad is making me cringe. THINK SKINNY, EMILY! I will just repeat that all day. Maybe I should eat before I go so I am just hungry, not starving at lunch? Almonds? I'll let you know!
Also, I am heading to Norman to visit some friends after lunch. I am baking them some turtle bars (think chocolate, carmel and goodness). This is going to be the biggest challenge yet. Well other than being starving all the time and eating mexican for lunch. But really, how do you make something that great without eating half of the batter in the process? I am sure any NORMAL person would have no issue with this, then again, most normal people don't have food consume their life so much that they have to write an entire blog about it.
I feel like anorexic people always bake things and then let other people eat it in front of them to feel better about themselves. Seriously? How? I crumble for dip, give me batter and a spatula and you better believe I am NOT capable of washing it down the drain, there are starving people in China, right?
Ok. I am going to chug a glass of water. Maybe that will help suppress my hunger? Regardless of what is to come in this challenge I have chosen to face, I GET ICE CREAM TONIGHT!!!!! So, life is great!
Tuesday, May 25
Day 3
Well it has been a long day! No work out since I had my internship all day. I kick started my morning with a slim fast shake made by the wonderful Teresa/my momma. I got to work and was hungry within....oh....14 minutes. So I immediately resorted to by 100 calorie pack unsalted almonds. Wonderful! For lunch, I went with two other interns to Camille's Sidewalk Cafe. It was my turn to order and I was freaking out. I had no clue what would be healthy; wraps are so deceiving! But don't you freak out-- I remembered my brilliant Ap with nutrition facts and found a salad that was ONLY 221 calories! Seriously! I only dipped a small amount of dressing on the tip of my fork for each bite. I left lunch feeling....you would think good, right? NO....STARVING!
All I wanted was to eat my back up almond pack that I put in my purse before work. But everyone would think-- she just ate and she's snacking?! So I stuck it out...like a champion.
Then I got back to work and still couldn't eat because everyone knew I just got back from lunch! Bad? It's about to get worst...
It was a girls birthday, so there was homemade strawberry cake and brownies. Usually sweets are my weakness, but at that point in my life, it was past that. I mean for the love of god, I was STARVING. Lettuce and fake grilled chicken for lunch; what was I thinking? So i agreed to a "sliver" (yes, I said sliver) of the strawberry cake. I inhaled it. At that point all bets were off and I ripped open my Almonds.
Still thought, it was a tiny piece. I was still feeling fine about myself.
So I come home to find my mom wanting to meet my dad at the Country Club. I don't know if you are a member at one, but REALLY, I have never been able to turn down the temptation of its salad bar. I know what you're thinking, salad bar? Yes. So unhealthy. Chicken salad, thick soups, fattening dressings... as if that weren't enough? Mexican Buffett! So I won't beat around the bush- here is what I ate. A CUP of bean soup (Hailey, I know your mouth is watering right now), pickled okra and artichoke hearts, shrimp and fish (pretty soaked in butter :/), chicken (covered in this corn cream stuff, but I got off as much as I could!), and veggies; probably saturated in butter also :/
So thats it. I don't feel that great about my day... but my teeth are looking pretty white after just two days (and hurting too!), tomorrow I will do better!
And in my defense- I didn't eat the tamales or enchiladas! I probably avoided like a few thousand calories!
Side note: I decided I want to learn French. I found a GREAT podcast called like Coffee Break French or something and I repeat it all the time....Teresa is about to kill me.
So on that note... au revoir
All I wanted was to eat my back up almond pack that I put in my purse before work. But everyone would think-- she just ate and she's snacking?! So I stuck it out...like a champion.
Then I got back to work and still couldn't eat because everyone knew I just got back from lunch! Bad? It's about to get worst...
It was a girls birthday, so there was homemade strawberry cake and brownies. Usually sweets are my weakness, but at that point in my life, it was past that. I mean for the love of god, I was STARVING. Lettuce and fake grilled chicken for lunch; what was I thinking? So i agreed to a "sliver" (yes, I said sliver) of the strawberry cake. I inhaled it. At that point all bets were off and I ripped open my Almonds.
Still thought, it was a tiny piece. I was still feeling fine about myself.
So I come home to find my mom wanting to meet my dad at the Country Club. I don't know if you are a member at one, but REALLY, I have never been able to turn down the temptation of its salad bar. I know what you're thinking, salad bar? Yes. So unhealthy. Chicken salad, thick soups, fattening dressings... as if that weren't enough? Mexican Buffett! So I won't beat around the bush- here is what I ate. A CUP of bean soup (Hailey, I know your mouth is watering right now), pickled okra and artichoke hearts, shrimp and fish (pretty soaked in butter :/), chicken (covered in this corn cream stuff, but I got off as much as I could!), and veggies; probably saturated in butter also :/
So thats it. I don't feel that great about my day... but my teeth are looking pretty white after just two days (and hurting too!), tomorrow I will do better!
And in my defense- I didn't eat the tamales or enchiladas! I probably avoided like a few thousand calories!
Side note: I decided I want to learn French. I found a GREAT podcast called like Coffee Break French or something and I repeat it all the time....Teresa is about to kill me.
So on that note... au revoir
Monday, May 24
Day 2
Was there success in avoiding the dip? Yes. Was it torture? YES.
But all in all I came away feeling pretty good about myself! I came home and whitened my teeth; the first round out of 7 days! Teeth whitening grosses me out, but I am sure it will be worth it in the end!
I woke up today feeling no skinner than yesterday. I guess that is normal? But when I skip the dip...I at least tell myself it will be noticeable in the morning....
Regardless, I had a banana and went to the gym. I was still annoyed that I didn't feel skinny so I only did 30 minutes on the elliptical.
After, I decided I was bored enough to go roam around Target so I did. I bought a bunch of 100 calorie pack type food and then realized I was starving...so I started eating lots of 100 calorie foods...all along knowing that 10 packs of 100 calorie snacks still equals fat as...well ya know!
So I finally escaped the food and have spend the rest of the day sitting in bed on the computer. So productive.
I cannot help but wonder how anorexic people do it. Seriously? No food? The closest I ever get to convincing myself I am never going to eat again is ROLLING out of a million calorie mexican dinner, but the next morning all thoughts of starving myself are out the window.
Food for thought:
Nothing tastes as good as Skinny feels... I would beg to differ, but sitting in my plus size shorts, all I have to go by is the taste part. Hopefully that is not going to be for long!
Maybe tomorrow I will wake up skinny? Doubtful! At least I can bet on a whiter smile :)
For now, its dinner time!
But all in all I came away feeling pretty good about myself! I came home and whitened my teeth; the first round out of 7 days! Teeth whitening grosses me out, but I am sure it will be worth it in the end!
I woke up today feeling no skinner than yesterday. I guess that is normal? But when I skip the dip...I at least tell myself it will be noticeable in the morning....
Regardless, I had a banana and went to the gym. I was still annoyed that I didn't feel skinny so I only did 30 minutes on the elliptical.
After, I decided I was bored enough to go roam around Target so I did. I bought a bunch of 100 calorie pack type food and then realized I was starving...so I started eating lots of 100 calorie foods...all along knowing that 10 packs of 100 calorie snacks still equals fat as...well ya know!
So I finally escaped the food and have spend the rest of the day sitting in bed on the computer. So productive.
I cannot help but wonder how anorexic people do it. Seriously? No food? The closest I ever get to convincing myself I am never going to eat again is ROLLING out of a million calorie mexican dinner, but the next morning all thoughts of starving myself are out the window.
Food for thought:
Nothing tastes as good as Skinny feels... I would beg to differ, but sitting in my plus size shorts, all I have to go by is the taste part. Hopefully that is not going to be for long!
Maybe tomorrow I will wake up skinny? Doubtful! At least I can bet on a whiter smile :)
For now, its dinner time!
Sunday, May 23
Day 1
I have come to the conclusion that the most practical way to tackle this challenge is to make short term goals everyday. Tonight we are going to eat dinner at my aunt and uncle's house. Other than the wine, margs, and unlimited portions of delicious food and desert, I see my biggest threat to be the dips before dinner is ready.
Why is it that anytime there is a dip bowl, I stand my ground and stuff my face? Calorie intake: probably around 12000! So for tonight, my goal will be to only drink water and to steer clear of the dip bowl.
I will compromise my main meal also, eating a small portion.
Other than my goal, I find that the best trick in dieting is finding foods I enjoy that are healthy. If I can get it through my head that I am not dieting, I have a better chance at making it in the long haul.
I worked out today. I am the laziest person I know, so to say I went to the gym and worked out is MAJOR. I did the elliptical and thank GOODNESS, "Knocked Up" was on, so it made me forget I was exercising.
Beyond working out, my food kick for now is Laughing Cow Cheese...IT IS SO GOOD! Only 35 calories a wedge! Is that real? Put it with some turkey and it is a pretty freaking good little snack!
Also, single packs of Tuna are wonderful! Put some mustard and laughing cow cheese with it, stir it up, and BAM! It's lunch time! I feel bad for people who don't like tuna and are trying to diet. 80 calories for a pack and its the best thing since....I'd venture to say the internet!
Well, that's all for now! Hopefully the aroma of spinach artichoke dip won't tempt me over to the dark side tonight!
I'll let you know tomorrow!
Why is it that anytime there is a dip bowl, I stand my ground and stuff my face? Calorie intake: probably around 12000! So for tonight, my goal will be to only drink water and to steer clear of the dip bowl.
I will compromise my main meal also, eating a small portion.
Other than my goal, I find that the best trick in dieting is finding foods I enjoy that are healthy. If I can get it through my head that I am not dieting, I have a better chance at making it in the long haul.
I worked out today. I am the laziest person I know, so to say I went to the gym and worked out is MAJOR. I did the elliptical and thank GOODNESS, "Knocked Up" was on, so it made me forget I was exercising.
Beyond working out, my food kick for now is Laughing Cow Cheese...IT IS SO GOOD! Only 35 calories a wedge! Is that real? Put it with some turkey and it is a pretty freaking good little snack!
Also, single packs of Tuna are wonderful! Put some mustard and laughing cow cheese with it, stir it up, and BAM! It's lunch time! I feel bad for people who don't like tuna and are trying to diet. 80 calories for a pack and its the best thing since....I'd venture to say the internet!
Well, that's all for now! Hopefully the aroma of spinach artichoke dip won't tempt me over to the dark side tonight!
I'll let you know tomorrow!
Saturday, May 22
I'll Start My Diet...Tomorrow
The story of my life. There is NEVER a good time to plunge into a healthy lifestyle. It takes a lot for me to jumpstart a health kick. It takes even more for me to stay on it. The second I start to compromise it is a lost cause.
It typically takes an upcoming event of some sort to motivate me to attempt and find my personal best reflection. I have a feeling that class reunions, weddings, and perhaps family vacations to the tropics will all motivate me in the future.
For now, I am going into my senior year of college at The University of Oklahoma, and have slipped for far too long. My last health kick came in the beginning of football season, it lasted until I found myself at the first tailgate, and then all bets were off!
How cliche college girl can I get? Here goes--I am motivated right now for my final sorority rush season. There, I said it. Being able to look decent when I am going out and sitting on a boat at the lake in a swim suite are just bonuses at this point.
I started telling myself that this summer was going to be the ultimate overall wellness...marathon, if you will... since February, and from that point allowed myself to eat (and drink) whatever I wanted. I have a long way to go.
Every health kick starts with a trip to Target. Buying healthy foods, maybe a few workout outfits, and in my case some teeth whitening all serve as my foundation. The satisfaction came when it came time to check out--as I ran my credit card, I convinced myself that dad would be happy to pay for this, after all, it is for my summer wellness.
I have decided to blog in hopes of keeping myself accountable and in order to have someone to vent to as I face frustrations. I will always be honest. If I fall off the bandwagon, I will tell you all about it!
Maybe no one will ever read this, maybe it will be motivation for someone else to jump on the healthy bandwagon, maybe I'll actually be happy with my reflection when this is all said and done? Only time will tell
With everything lined up for my ultimate summer of cleansing, I am as ready as ever to start my diet... tomorrow. But really, I'll start tomorrow.
Heres to You, Reflection... and good luck; you're gonna need it!
It typically takes an upcoming event of some sort to motivate me to attempt and find my personal best reflection. I have a feeling that class reunions, weddings, and perhaps family vacations to the tropics will all motivate me in the future.
For now, I am going into my senior year of college at The University of Oklahoma, and have slipped for far too long. My last health kick came in the beginning of football season, it lasted until I found myself at the first tailgate, and then all bets were off!
How cliche college girl can I get? Here goes--I am motivated right now for my final sorority rush season. There, I said it. Being able to look decent when I am going out and sitting on a boat at the lake in a swim suite are just bonuses at this point.
I started telling myself that this summer was going to be the ultimate overall wellness...marathon, if you will... since February, and from that point allowed myself to eat (and drink) whatever I wanted. I have a long way to go.
Every health kick starts with a trip to Target. Buying healthy foods, maybe a few workout outfits, and in my case some teeth whitening all serve as my foundation. The satisfaction came when it came time to check out--as I ran my credit card, I convinced myself that dad would be happy to pay for this, after all, it is for my summer wellness.
I have decided to blog in hopes of keeping myself accountable and in order to have someone to vent to as I face frustrations. I will always be honest. If I fall off the bandwagon, I will tell you all about it!
Maybe no one will ever read this, maybe it will be motivation for someone else to jump on the healthy bandwagon, maybe I'll actually be happy with my reflection when this is all said and done? Only time will tell
With everything lined up for my ultimate summer of cleansing, I am as ready as ever to start my diet... tomorrow. But really, I'll start tomorrow.
Heres to You, Reflection... and good luck; you're gonna need it!
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