Overall Body Wellness...Hard to come by!

So when I first decided to kick start my healthy summer, my goal was to achieve overall body wellness... easier said than done! There were a few things that I figured I would tackle; teeth whitening and perhaps wearing my retainer, working out and eating healthy which was planned to lead to being skinny, and getting a tan bod. I am now over a month in and still going strong on the path... but I'm still not seeing any results that make me jump with joy and explode with motivation.
Clearly, the off brand teeth whitening was a complete bust, I figured I would revisit the whitening path closer to school, that way they will be at their whitest when I need them to be! I should really start wearing my retainer... but it just hurts so bad!
As far as working out and eating healthy, I have done really well lately! Seriously! I just don't really see the difference. Then again, I just spent a while going through my pictures from the end of last year and I was truly repulsed. Maybe that should just keep me motivated?
I have been going to the pool in my one piece and working on getting some color. Last year I signed a year contract with "At The Beach" for unlimited spray tans. Little did I know, it took about one month for the entire concept to completely gross me out. Now I am paying $50 a month for something that literally is never used. Neat. I don't know what I was ever thinking though, seriously! Spray tans smell SICK, look sick, and the come off in awkward blotches... once again- sick! Every picture of me that I am spray tanned in I literally look like a monkey. SICK! So bottom line- I will be laying out a lot this summer. Today I did something that once again repulsed me. I went to the pool and laid out in a TWO PIECE. This was an extremely premature move and I looked like a beached whale. I hated every second of it. Note to self- being in a one piece is bold ENOUGH for summer 2010!
Okay so with all of that wellness underway... I have realized that I have been missing a key ingredient to looking my best... my hair! On the DAY of my 21st birthday...in January...I decided that I wanted a drastic change...why? I still will never grasp the answer... so I went and got a freaking dyke bob. Yes, that is what I have come to call it. My hair was cut off. For some reason I didn't make the connection that fat people are fatter with a dyke bob...well I didn't make the connection till my hair was on the floor of that horrible place and I was left with 21 pictures of dyke bob and spray on tan. I am cringing thinking about it. So even though it has been so long, it is still at a length that I consider a dyke bob. It was gotten so much better, but really, people still ask me if I just got my hair cut...it has been almost 6 months! NO! The dyke bob was a horrible horrible mistake. How do I grow out my hair at a faster rate? I think that is a lost cause. Maybe I will start using horse shampoo?
Also, I have a sick third eye right now which is never encouraging. NEVER. It stares at me every time I see a mirror. Dyke bob + third eye is almost as bad as dyke bob + spray tan....almost. Regardless, chipmunk cheeks and a triple chin make all of the above even worst.
Bottom line, I am still going strong, and still not seeing any instant results. I try to tell myself it is working, but sometimes I just don't believe the lies. I have 44 days till I move back to school... 44 days!
Work out, eat healthy, lay out, whiten teeth, wear retainer, invest in PROACTIVE, take great care of my hair....
Let the journey continue!

Long time, no blog!

Wow. Has it really been a week since I last blogged? You know I am lazy when I am not even keeping up with this little guy! I spent the past three days at the capitol... and lets just say... I didn't exactly eat healthy. BUT, I am back on board today! I just worked out and had some turkey and laughing cow cheese for lunch! Which brings me to two other points...one being that I am trying to make myself enjoy running! I use the elliptical at the gym, but when I go back to school I am NOT going to want to go to the Huff to work out...sick. I need to be one of those sorority girls who gets home and goes, "I HAVE to go on a run!" like I'm craving it or something. Then I need to just go outside and run around embracing the outdoors. For this reason, and to avoid the talking neighborhood ladies who were on the ellipticals, I got on the treadmill and ran some today.
My other point, I have a new favorite snack...turkey, laughing cow (duh) and green tabasco! It is TO DIE FOR. Seriously! Best invention ever...by me!
I did have one healthy dinner the other night. My brother and I decided that we were chefs and made some sort of cajun delight. I was craving crawfish for some strange reason, so I bought some at Target. We mixed tomato paste, wichester, Louisiana hot sauce, garlic, grilled onions, and some chicken broth together on a stove (really, it was amazing!) and the put in the crawfish. Meanwhile, I made some blackened tilapia and once it was all done, we poured the crawfish yumminess over the fish. Best.Ever. And healthy, seriously! Everything was so low in calories that it was a great choice!
Today I am going to the pool to get some sun. You know what they say, tan fat is better than pale fat...and isn't that the truth?
I was starting to actually feel skinnier, then I had the past few days of "vacation"...yeah I'll call it vacation. And now, I am sitting here feeling my bulging double chin and resting my computer on my oversized belly.
No more bad food, the summer is ticking away!
And I'd better keep up with this blog, maybe it actually does help?!

Forgetting to say "When"

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say “when.”
Funny quote huh? I would assume this is more for the people who are yet to except that they are fat, so they still squeeze into the same clothes they were wearing 20 pounds ago. But then again, what am I saying? After all, having a muffin top every time I button my jeans can't be a good thing.
I decided to look for some inspiring quotes this morning. Mostly because I am putting off going to the gym, but telling myself it is more for motivation.
I've caught myself doing it again... "I can't work out today, I am too busy..." Really? because I am pretty sure you woke up over an hour ago and you are still in bed, in your pajamas, pointlessly roaming the internet.
Time to rally for the day. Hopefully there is SOMETHING good on TV; I should really work on finding some aerobic activity I can enjoy...is there such a thing?
I ate healthy yesterday....I am going to start taking pictures of things I eat if they look good, that way I can liven up the page.
My question of the day: should I even bother with weighing my self? I mean, I know when I start looking like a super model people will ask, "How much did you loose!?", but really, it kind of sucks. You feel great about yourself... well not great, I still look like I just stepped off the bus at fat camp...but I feel better...and then step on the scale and NOPE... apparently it does not feel any better at all.
Maybe I will steer clear of the scale for a few more weeks. Or just forever.
I want to shop today...but I think it may be too soon. Theres nothing that will make a fat girl feel fatter than a full size reflection of a dress that looks like she was poured into without saying "when"....

Day 10...Double Digits!

So day 10 has come and gone! Blogging at the end of the day is ALWAYS a challenge. I have done well all day, and all I want to do is sneak down to the kitchen...like I have done many-a-night... and eat everything I see without waking anyone. Kinda like the fat kid version of "Don't Wake Daddy"...you remember that commercial for that game, right?
Regardless, when I face my weakness in the late hours of the night, I poor myself a huge glass (well technically plastic cup, I'll call it a plastic) of water and chug it. It never makes me any less hungry. You win some you loose some.
What a negative light to shine on my 10th day of being a self-conscience health nut? Regardless, I had a rather stunning day. I can name everything I ate. Brilliant.
Slimfast shake, 250 calorie sandwich from Subway, 100 calorie pack of almonds, 2 liters of WATER! (that should be some kind of bonus!), some tuna and pickles, laughing cow cheese, turkey slices, a few veggies, and a 100 calorie pack of cookies (the cherry on top? I'd say so!).
As I was healthily snacking when I got home from work...my brother awkwardly called me out for my new found health kick. "Are you DIETING or something?" He thinks diets are liberal for some reason... we are a rather conservative family, so the term "dieting" coming from him was spat out in a very negative way. Very. Good thing he doesn't know about my blog.
I don't remember what I said back. Funny encounter though.
Today is my wonderful friend Hailey's 22nd birthday. What does that have to do with my health blog? Everything! I will be undoubtedly sharing wine with her in celebration. This is too many calories to even look up. It will be one of those ignorance is bliss type of splurges. It is worth it for you, Hailey!
I just realized I did not share any stories from the lake. I will just paint a quick little mental picture for you. We get on the boat, everyone takes off their cover ups to get some sun. I am wearing one of those 2007 style Juicy Coverups, I got it on eBay in 2008 for pretty cheap. I roll it down to where it covers my stomach and hike up the skirt so my pork thighs can get some sun, and pretend like it is normal. I was like a random cat with all the dogs. Then, when it was too hot to resist a swim, I awkwardly shimmied out of my discount coverup, hid my body with the floating devise (it held me up once in the water, don't worry!) and DOVE in faster than, well, than I have moved in a long time. Not.A.Pretty.Sight. Regardless, I made it through. This is progress, considering the last 2 spring breaks I waded in the ocean in that Juicy coverup.
Picture "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini"... minus the "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie" part and instead of "Yellow Polka-Dot" picture... multi colored polka-dot; target 2007 line.
Which brings me to another rather important point. I have not bought a swim suite since 2007. That is the last year I could stand seeing the blob in dressing room lighting.
Maybe I should start inching to a new goal? Buy a swim suite this summer?
Or, better yet, how about I work out? It has been 10 days and I worked out...what...2?
I do believe that I am a sloth. Then again, sloths are small.
A wise mother of a friend once told her that judging by the size of her hands and feet, she should technically be a small person. Judging by mine, I should weigh 115 and head to the lake with NO cover up.
Next summer, I can feel it. Not as much as I can feel these rolls. Maybe tonight I will dream I am skinny? Theres only one way to find out...Good night bloggers!